Show up with all information you are going to use printed out and ready to hand out. Be able to prove what you are saying. Answer questions on it with tact and even tone of voice. If you don't already have copies of all school and district policies, you should. Bring them with you to the meeting. Make sure you are well aware of them all. Some parents will know the ones that they need by heart. Do you? If someone talks about how things have always been done, and the written policy is different, ask to see it.
The time for these meetings is pretty short. Always say you understand and are willing to go in depth more in a different meeting and settings. Always ask for a date and time.
You will be asked to make accommodations and use other techniques for some children. Know exactly how you will implement them and/or how you are expected to implement them. Don't say they are impossible. Just express any concerns you have in a reasonable manner, not confrontational. You will be expected to follow the IEP! Now is your time to modify it if you can.
Always be prepared to explain what is helping. Don't concentrate on the negative all the time. Showing that you have victories is to your advantage. Talk about your personal strengths and teaching abilities that can be used.
Don't tell anyone they are flat out wrong. Don't allow yourself to be called flat wrong. In response, call it a misunderstanding. Explain your information, where it came from, and what there's is.
Never tell a parent that you, the school, or the district, just does not have the wherewithal to implement all that is needed in the law. You are all actually expected to do it. Everyone MUST work together. The school, teacher, and parent. Start getting all sides to contribute with their responsibility. If parents perceive that everyone is working for them, they will not be so quick as to nitpick each and every letter of the plan. The law is really there to help the child, not punish schools. Schools must provide all services that are warranted.
This one is huge. There MUST be a person of authority who can make final decisions. Period. And that means decisions on the cost and staff that will be needed. I would never show up at a meeting without such a person.
Parents will show up with things that they see are not going well. Politely set up a meeting with the parents as to how things can go better. If there's time in the meeting, do it then. But don't be blindsided. If you don't know that a parent thinks Johnny or Susie are getting too hard homework that can't be done, shame on you if the first time you hear of it is in an IEP meeting.
Someone (teachers?) will always chime in how some things are going to be impossible. Parents do not like to hear that. Instead, have several proposals that can be used in place of something that seems, "impossible."Above all, don't panic. You don't need to feel under the gun. Relax and work things out. But you need to make sure IEPs are reasonable for you to. Speak up and have amiable dialogues about you have trouble with.